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Question: Do you understand how much hurt, pain, and anger this causes your believing friends and family?

Short answer: Yes. Long answer: I was Mormon for 36 years. Technically, I’m still Mormon. I know the implications. I know what it means to fear the loss of a family member for all eternity. I know what I used to believe would happen if someone broke their temple covenants. It’s serious. I getContinue reading “Question: Do you understand how much hurt, pain, and anger this causes your believing friends and family?”

Question: Can we discuss your faith transition face to face and will that make you uncomfortable? If we do discuss faith, will you start an argument and attack my beliefs?

Short answer: Yes we can discuss, no I will not attack your beliefs. Long answer: Obviously, this is a very difficult conversation for any family to have. The implications of a devout LDS family having family members that leave- are very serious indeed. On both sides of the equation, those that believe and thoseContinue reading “Question: Can we discuss your faith transition face to face and will that make you uncomfortable? If we do discuss faith, will you start an argument and attack my beliefs?”

Question: Are you “anti-mormon” now? Are you what they call a “disaffected member?”

Short answer: No. Long answer: The term “anti-mormon” is used by faithful members in reference to those who have left the church and attempt to harm it by spreading lies and falsehoods. This is not me. Nor is it pretty much anyone in the large community of people whom have left the church inContinue reading “Question: Are you “anti-mormon” now? Are you what they call a “disaffected member?””

Question: Are you going to attempt to influence me or my kids to believe the way you do?

Short answer: No. Long answer: I respect your beliefs and expect you to respect mine. I would never purposely attempt to ruin your testimony or that of your children. As a lifelong member of the church, I know the good and beautiful parts of the church. I want happiness for you. I respect yourContinue reading “Question: Are you going to attempt to influence me or my kids to believe the way you do?”

Question: Would it be helpful to you, if I send you articles that have helped me in maintaining my faith in the church? Would it be helpful for me to post memes, quotes, videos, talks. etc. that might inspire you to revisit your faith?

Short answer: No. Long answer: I do not know of a single instance when this has worked to bring ex-mormons back to the “fold.” In fact, this is very hurtful. It will not bring a loved one closer to you, it will absolutely push them away. Please know… for anyone who has left the church…Continue reading “Question: Would it be helpful to you, if I send you articles that have helped me in maintaining my faith in the church? Would it be helpful for me to post memes, quotes, videos, talks. etc. that might inspire you to revisit your faith?”

Question: Are you the “tare” in the analogy of the separation of the wheat from the tares in the last days?

Short answer: No. Long answer: Deep thoughts: If a person is a tare, do they know they are a tare? Who are the tare, and who are the wheat? You might say the tare is I. I say: let us go get ice cream. We only have this life together. Let us stop separating.Continue reading “Question: Are you the “tare” in the analogy of the separation of the wheat from the tares in the last days?”

Question: Have you removed your name from the records of the church? Why or why not?

Short answer: No. Long answer: I have not removed my name from the records of the church. But I might decide to someday. Reasons why people who quit the church might remove their name: 1. They don’t want to be counted in membership reports because this is a false reflection of church growth. 2.Continue reading “Question: Have you removed your name from the records of the church? Why or why not?”

Question: What about the covenants you made in the temple?

Short answer: I no longer believe in LDS temple practices. Long answer: I was 19 years old when I made temple covenants. I was practically a child. I was asked, on the spot, to make covenants that I did not understand, without knowing before-hand what I was promising or covenanting to. No preparation, noContinue reading “Question: What about the covenants you made in the temple?”

Question: What about your kids? How will you raise them without the principles taught in the church? Don’t you want to be with them for all eternity?

Short answer: I love my kids with all my heart; and I will raise them the best way I know how. Long answer: I do not believe you have to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to be a good person. There is a very good chanceContinue reading “Question: What about your kids? How will you raise them without the principles taught in the church? Don’t you want to be with them for all eternity?”

Question: How do you reconcile spiritual feelings and experiences you had while a faithful member of the church?

Short answer: I will always treasure spiritual experiences I had while a member of the church. Long answer: Personally, I have often pondered the many spiritual experiences I had while a believing member. I remember them. I hold them as sacred and special. I realize that while I had beautiful feelings of peace, love, andContinue reading “Question: How do you reconcile spiritual feelings and experiences you had while a faithful member of the church?”